Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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