How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
