Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
