I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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