similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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