We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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