Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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