I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize