i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
