i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
