i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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