If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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