i jhust puked up my retainher.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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