Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize