i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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