Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
