U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
