if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize