I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
