But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
