Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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(619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb

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(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.

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(515): I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy. http://tfl.nu/r54x

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(619): View more from California

There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

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(619): There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back. http://tfl.nu/ap60

Replies (27) Good night (6994) Bad night (1208)
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(281): View more from Texas

Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

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(281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr

Replies (14) Good night (870) Bad night (2857)
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(518): View more from New York

All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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(518): All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up http://tfl.nu/3pu3

Replies (16) Good night (891) Bad night (5142)
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(650): View more from California

I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

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(650): I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar. http://tfl.nu/ituj

Replies (12) Good night (4822) Bad night (960)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Thanks, mom.

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(202): You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway. (1-202): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/107n

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(609): View more from New Jersey

don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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(609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj

Replies (7) Good night (1427) Bad night (887)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

(910): View more from North Carolina

That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

(770): View more from Georgia

Touche.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

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(770): If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door? (910): That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating? (770): Touche. (910): I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR. http://tfl.nu/rwye

Replies (6) Good night (4118) Bad night (1015)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up

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(312): I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up http://tfl.nu/9x7s

Replies (2) Good night (1514) Bad night (1181)
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(954): View more from Florida

You pretty much isn't said it

(404): View more from Georgia

Those words don't go together.

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(954): You pretty much isn't said it (404): Those words don't go together. http://tfl.nu/8gl1

Replies (7) Good night (2462) Bad night (838)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game

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(203): You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game http://tfl.nu/wvii

Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (709)
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(254): View more from Texas

guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....

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(254): guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when.... http://tfl.nu/knba

Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (269)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.

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(+44): Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me. http://tfl.nu/0a0k

Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (319)
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(801): View more from Utah

I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself

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(801): I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself http://tfl.nu/7pv4

Replies (3) Good night (426) Bad night (246)

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