we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.