Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.

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  (412): Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken. http://tfl.nu/9881
  Replies (13) Good night (1056) Bad night (5362)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING

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  (404): just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING http://tfl.nu/vg2h
  Replies (18) Good night (6048) Bad night (1247)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

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  (410): You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock" http://tfl.nu/flxw
  Replies (6) Good night (2928) Bad night (984)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (957) Bad night (2601)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.

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  (902): Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog. http://tfl.nu/wgn2
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (1002)
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  (631): View more from New York

  she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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  (631): she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly http://tfl.nu/zoqz
  Replies (6) Good night (1806) Bad night (1008)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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  (703): The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night. (703): The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie. http://tfl.nu/hgcg
  Replies (27) Good night (1274) Bad night (2846)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.

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  (651): I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won. http://tfl.nu/jvx1
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (506)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on

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  (315): I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on http://tfl.nu/7hrd
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (442)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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  (251): My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay http://tfl.nu/tgej
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (404)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

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  (248): The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager. http://tfl.nu/apbs
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (656)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.

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  (316): Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift. http://tfl.nu/rzzb
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (869)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.

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  (205): I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again. http://tfl.nu/ogwa
  Replies (9) Good night (1140) Bad night (589)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"

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  (305): I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court" http://tfl.nu/xin1
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (572)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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  (216): Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/atdl
  Replies (7) Good night (314) Bad night (524)

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