Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize