are you still at the devil's house?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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