does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
