they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
