She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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