I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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