The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
