In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
