well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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