Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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