remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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