and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
