Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
