You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize