he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
