Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize