i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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