3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
