you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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