how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
