i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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