i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just forgot I was standing up.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
