you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
