I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
