He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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