clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
