Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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