I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize