you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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