He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
