She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
