whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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