too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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