i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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