Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm like, not good at living.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
