I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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