He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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