i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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