And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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