The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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