dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i've created a new STD.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
